I Am Next In Line

We all do it. I'm sure. I don't travel in the type of circles where you could ignore this chore. We all grocery shop. Right?

For some this is a fun outing. For others its a necessary evil. Ultimately though, we've all got to hit the supermarket and stock up on toilet paper and toothpaste, wine and popcorn, and periodically milk and bread.

So, we have the common experience of cruising the aisles and making our selections. Also, we have the common experience of unloading our carts in increasingly more narrow lanes (seriously, what happens if you are not super model thin? It's getting silly!). Then we get to check ourselves out, although at least two or three times in each of my self checkout experiences I must alert someone to come and help me, while waiting patiently for that support. THEN we get to bag our own groceries in our own bags!

I'm not a wimp. I am really not a cry baby. But, lately I'm a little snarky towards all grocery retailers. It seems I'm paying more and more for my groceries, but getting less and less out of the relationship!

I've got your frequent flyer card, heck I think I have six of them, conveniently sized for whatever my needs! I'm just a little unclear what you are doing for me? You want my loyalty but when I provide it there doesn't seem to be much in return.  Lately I don't even get a coherent and polite person to assist me in the checkout process (and really, when I do use the staffed lanes, I don't want the 20-something person to complain about how they have another hour to work when I've just put in a 12-hour workday and still have to manage to drag all these groceries home and put them away . . . ).

So, here's my last gift to you, my favorite supermarket of all time (you know who you are), establish a special lane for me, your card carrying frequent flyer who spends 50% of her income at your shop. Staff it with your best employees, make it a treat to get to work in this lane in fact. And, make me feel like you really give a %$#@ that I'm shopping at your store.

Thank me for bringing my own bags, tell your staffers not to sigh when I hand all 10 of my bags over (I have a lot of bags because I buy a lot of groceries, not because I want to be a pain in your kiester!). And, spring for the extra few bucks to have a few teens working to put my bags in my stinking cart. I'm tired of sweating bullets in the checkout lane because I have to race to place all of my selections on the conveyor, then help bag them, then quickly get the bags into my cart so I don't hold up anyone behind me. It's just ridiculous!

I do still love you.  And, that's why I'm sharing my thoughts now, before I freak out in the ultra-skinny lane while checking out and bagging my own soup and crackers in my own bags that conveniently carry your brand name all over them. 

Really, isn't it enough that I shop at your establishment? Must I also perform the duties of one of your parttime workers for the priviledge?

I'd like to be next in line somewhere that really gives a darn whether I shop there.  Let me know when you're ready for me . . .