Friday, October 28, 2011

20 and Counting!

This month Rick and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Big doin's for some, a drop in the bucket for others, an unheard of accomplishment for still others. (Please refrain from laughing out loud until the end as you view the following photos portraying our fantastic early 90s fashion, gigantic wedding party, big hair and slick mullets...we know you dressed like this too!)

For us it was a Wednesday night during a silly busy week. We toasted our togetherness with glasses of sparkling wine and roses and smushy kisses nonetheless. And then we got right back to the business of living. You see, we celebrate being a couple every day. We don't schedule date night to remind us that we should still be in love, we practice that one all the time.

I can remember my mom saying that she and my dad never fought -- they discussed issues. Sometimes they would discuss things over and over again! Contrary to that philosophy is the Rick and Mo negotiation tactic. We fight.

But, we fight honestly and openly. Most often we banter back and forth and steam a bit and then spark another round...and then we let it go. But, always, always, always, we fight with each other. We don't tell our friends and family about how mad we are about something if we haven't been honest with each other. Its solid advice, feel free to take it to the bank and save it for a rainy day...or just spend it freely on your own relationship.

Truly I think the secret to surviving more than 20 years of marriage is that we like to dance with each other. Let's be honest, there are very few people who would want to take on the challenge of dancing with either one of us. We insist on spinning and twirling and whipping each other all about the dance floor. Really, I think we were destined to be professional swing dancers, except that we are really too lazy to learn all of those precise moves (and seriously, can you imagine Rick flipping me over his head or under his legs, while I'm wearing a swing skirt - the horrors!).

At any given moment if a band, a DJ, or the radio playing in the next room strikes up a tune that either of us recognizes we are bound to grab the other and start twirling. Recently we realized how horrifying this can be to the younger generation in our midst. I was surprised to learn that our moves are not "cool" and that we are considered something of a hot mess by the kids in our family (they are only 7 and 8 years old, so I will forgive them!).

Its the cross that we must bear in accordance with our marital vows. Once you've been married this long, nobody expects cool any more. Yet, I think we've still got it. Hopefully we'll be able to hang on to it for several more decades to come.

Everyone should be so blessed to live out their lives with a person with whom they can always fight fair and who isn't afraid to spin them on the dance floor. Someone who will still turn out the lights each night with a simple "I love you." And, really, really mean it.