There Goes Another One-One!

As we jump headfirst into a fresh, spanking new year, I thought it would be fun to look back at 2011. Every moment of every day was certainly not picture perfect, but gosh darn it -- we made the best of it all!

Enjoy the ride...there is nothing profound here, it won't change your life, but sometimes its fun to sneak a peak into someone else's world for a minute!

January -- Connor was lucky to be a part of a fantastic 1st grade class at Holy Spirit School. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to photograph the class on several occasions and interview the students to write a book about how special and unique they all are. The book was auctioned off to help raise money for the school. It was seriously fun!

February -- Blizzards are incredible...when you are 7!

February -- And, sometimes blizzards result in gorgeous weather for the snow days that follow! Connor and our neighbor, Jenna, catch air while flying down the Doyle Family luge run in their backyard (across the street from our house). Now that's a thrilling way to spend your snow day!

March -- It was fun to cheer our nephew, Nate (12), and his Lumen Christi Titan hockey team on at the state quarter-finals game; but sad to watch him step off the ice for the last time as a Titan after their loss.

March -- We enjoyed watching Disney on Ice at the Van Andel Arena from a suite, front and center for all the action...complete with glow sticks!

March -- Brava to niece, Sarah, for her acting debut with Sparta Middle School!

April -- Spring Break in Longboat Key, FL...ahhhhhhh, nothing but sunshine, surf, and shells!

April -- My favorite photo of the year! The Gulf of Mexico was gorgeous for our Spring Break and we all enjoyed every second we spent basking in it. Connor loved riding the waves on his boogie board. Pure Joy!

April -- A late Easter this year provided gorgeous weather...we were all contemplating golf after brunch! Here is Connor with his cousins, Rachel, Sarah, and Reagan.

May -- Connor played Coach Pitch Little League this year with his dad as a coach. It was such fun to watch his skills develop...and so exciting to see a solid hit or catch.

May -- We cheered for nephew, Nate, as he graduated from Lumen Christi High School...my how time flies!

June -- We gathered in Grand Rapids for the Fitzgerald Family Golf Outing this year and celebrated my brother Mark's first victory as the Cup Winner! Apparently when he had surgery earlier in the year on his spine he scored some kind of bionic golf implant because he beat the competition with room to spare!

July -- Since we had those SWEET red, white, and blue tee shirts from the Family Golf Outing, why not wear them while celebrating Independence Day on the beach with fireworks and family?! Made sense to us! We were treated to a spectacular sunset over Lake Michigan, lovely fireworks over the water from the City of Pentwater, and an up-close, incredible firework display compliments of our neighbors on the beach! Not to mention our own sparklers! Whoopee!

July -- We kicked off our traditional summer vacation week (just the three youngest Fitzgerald's and our three kids, we've done this since the year they were all born!) at Memaw's house by tubing on Lake Pentwater. Connor and Reagan had a blast, and so did their cousin Ryleigh!

August -- Our neighbor's had to postpone their backyard wiffle ball tournament due to bad weather, but that didn't take away from the fun when game day arrived! Connor was once again the honorary bat boy for The Westwinde 5 -- and their team went on to win!

August -- A whirlwind trip to Chicago took us to Wrigley Field for Connor's first Cubs game! The monsoon-like downpour that drenched Connor and Mo also left us with a case of the giggles as we dashed through downtown streets that were flooded, while Rick waited it out at the restaurant!

August -- Connor and I even dragged Rick away from work for a few days at the beach splashing in those gorgeous Lake Michigan waves...and dinner with Memaw and Papa at the Pentwater Yacht Club. Excellent vacation that went by way too fast!

August -- We welcomed nephew, Kyle, home from his tour of duty in Afghanistan with the Army National Guard when his in-laws hosted a party at their farm in Reed City. Three of his Fitzgerald aunts are pictured here with Kyle...we embarrassed him with lots of smooches!

August -- Suddenly my sweet baby boy is a 2nd grader! Welcome back to school, buddy!

September -- We all cheered as my sister, Marcia, and Dave made it official and joined their families as one on the beach in a touching ceremony. Congratulations!

September -- ArtPrize! Connor and I toured the art twice this year...here he is seconds before this Top Ten contender became attached to his fleece jacket...in front of the artist. We had a tense moment as I instructed him to walk straight forward...and keep on walking right on out of the GR Public Museum! When we returned a few days later with his cousin we noted that there was a barrier surrounding the piece to keep people from recreating that drama! :-)

 September -- Fall soccer...

September -- ...and football. Connor with friends Joey and Jack on the sidelines at West Catholic during a flag football game.

October -- We celebrated Connor's birthday a week late with a corn maze and hay ride celebration...and chocolate cupcakes!

October -- We had an Angry Bird in the house for Halloween this year!

November -- Connor and Reagan invited their cousin, Mark, (he is an Army Veteran who served a tour of duty in Iraq and one in Afghanistan) to a special ceremony at their school on Veteran's Day. Love that those red, white, and blue shirts made another appearance! Classic!

December -- This conversation between Connor and Santa looks very serious! I'm happy to report that he did make an appearance at our house this year after all...Connor must have done some fast talking when they visited at his school pancake breakfast fundraiser!

There you go, its been one heck of a year! Thanks for sharing in it and for continuing to check in on my blog. Every writer needs readers...and I truly appreciate you!

My Heartfelt Thanks 2011

Once a year I like to stop the rat race of life and reflect on the Top Ten Things for which I give thanks. Each year its different. Each year it reflects the past 12 months. And, each year I find myself overwhelmed by just how many people or products I owe a debt of gratitude. Wowzers!

Sometimes quirky, but always heartfelt, here we go...

1) Rick and Connor -- Easy. Every night I whisper a thank you to God for bringing these two gentlemen into my life. Both are a treasured gift and both challenge me to be a better version of myself. Love these boys!

2) The Ladies Tee Party Board of Directors and Volunteers -- Holy Heartstrings, Batman! These people give it all and then give a little more. Love the dedication of my inner circle of supporters -- prepping and planning for this event takes an entire year (and many bottles of wine!). They put up with my mood swings and creative impulses with grace and humility. I'm equally humbled by the amazing volunteers who take a day off work and offer it to the Ladies Tee Party. We now have more volunteers working the event than participants in the original that took place on the lakeshore almost 8 years ago.

3) Homemade Chex Mix -- Seriously. I make it the old school way, no frills or fancy seasonings. Lots of butter, worcestershire sauce, and garlic salt. Yes, garlic salt. Sure it makes your breath a little zesty, but that's what icy cold beer was made for...washing down all that Chex Mix. Mmmmmm! Now, that's a two-fer in the thankfulness department!

4) Maximize Technologies -- My husband and his partner, Keith Torno, have collected a super nerdy bunch of techs, each with heart and a sense of humor, at Maximize Technologies. West Michigan businesses are better off when they link with this brain pool -- for everything from software development and customization to network engineering and help desk support. Plus, I just adore their families! This photo is from our gathering this summer at a Whitecaps game, including everyone's spouses and kids -- what fun!

5) Neighbors -- When you buy a house you rarely think about the most important facet of that investment -- your neighbors -- until its too late. In our case we hit the jackpot! We have fantastic neighbors who have become dear friends. They've provided my son with a dog to love, a baby to look out for, incredible big brother role models, babysitters, coaches, and a fan base who really cares. I could just hug 'em all, but that starts to feel a little too Wisteria Lane for me, we'll just leave it at thankful!

6) Blandford Nature Center -- What a treasure right in the heart of the westside of Grand Rapids! We walk to a trailhead from our house and then wander under the canopy of trees along the trails, always discovering something we've never seen before. Each season brings new experiences along those trails and lots of time to chat about life with my little adventurer.

7) ARC Angels -- We were tossed together by chance...and the pursuit of a non-workstudy college job on campus. Today we remain friends because we share that history, but also because we're intrigued by each other's unique life path. Heck, we like each other! As ARC Angels, we worked in the Academic Resource Center at Grand Valley State University (okay, it was a college when I started, I think I still have paper cuts from the mailing we hand-assembled announcing the transition to University status!) for Dean Mary Seeger. Mary Beversluis was her administrative assistant at the time and took care in selecting each of us -- or so we like to say! The first photo is from a gathering just last spring, we connect several times a year with as many of our crew as possible. The second photo was taken in 1989 on campus at GVSU without Mary or Dean Seeger...see, the Angels haven't changed a bit!

8) My Parents -- I am so thankful that I was raised by two people who shared their love and values without casting judgment or restricting potential. John and Jackie Fitzgerald were in love with each other and adored their children...all nine of us! While I miss them daily, I am so grateful for all of the years we shared. I often wish that I could ask them for advice today about everything from parenting to finances to movies or football.

9) Baseball -- From Little League to the Big Leagues, I'm a fan. What's not to love about a game that is played in the sunshine (most of the time!), requires teamwork and strategy, but showcases personal dedication to the craft. Take me out to the ballgame...anytime, anywhere!

10) Daily's Frozen Drink Pouches -- Another one of those ideas that I wish I'd thought of! Margaritas or daiquiris, among other treats, sold in the supermarket, premixed in foil pouches. Just toss them in your freezer to create portable slushies complete with liquor. The Frozen Lemonade was a personal favorite this summer on the beach! It's like fun size candy bars, except they're your favorite cocktails -- fantastic!

20 and Counting!

This month Rick and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Big doin's for some, a drop in the bucket for others, an unheard of accomplishment for still others. (Please refrain from laughing out loud until the end as you view the following photos portraying our fantastic early 90s fashion, gigantic wedding party, big hair and slick mullets...we know you dressed like this too!)

For us it was a Wednesday night during a silly busy week. We toasted our togetherness with glasses of sparkling wine and roses and smushy kisses nonetheless. And then we got right back to the business of living. You see, we celebrate being a couple every day. We don't schedule date night to remind us that we should still be in love, we practice that one all the time.

I can remember my mom saying that she and my dad never fought -- they discussed issues. Sometimes they would discuss things over and over again! Contrary to that philosophy is the Rick and Mo negotiation tactic. We fight.

But, we fight honestly and openly. Most often we banter back and forth and steam a bit and then spark another round...and then we let it go. But, always, always, always, we fight with each other. We don't tell our friends and family about how mad we are about something if we haven't been honest with each other. Its solid advice, feel free to take it to the bank and save it for a rainy day...or just spend it freely on your own relationship.

Truly I think the secret to surviving more than 20 years of marriage is that we like to dance with each other. Let's be honest, there are very few people who would want to take on the challenge of dancing with either one of us. We insist on spinning and twirling and whipping each other all about the dance floor. Really, I think we were destined to be professional swing dancers, except that we are really too lazy to learn all of those precise moves (and seriously, can you imagine Rick flipping me over his head or under his legs, while I'm wearing a swing skirt - the horrors!).

At any given moment if a band, a DJ, or the radio playing in the next room strikes up a tune that either of us recognizes we are bound to grab the other and start twirling. Recently we realized how horrifying this can be to the younger generation in our midst. I was surprised to learn that our moves are not "cool" and that we are considered something of a hot mess by the kids in our family (they are only 7 and 8 years old, so I will forgive them!).

Its the cross that we must bear in accordance with our marital vows. Once you've been married this long, nobody expects cool any more. Yet, I think we've still got it. Hopefully we'll be able to hang on to it for several more decades to come.

Everyone should be so blessed to live out their lives with a person with whom they can always fight fair and who isn't afraid to spin them on the dance floor. Someone who will still turn out the lights each night with a simple "I love you." And, really, really mean it.

Places that Heal

This summer as I watched my 7-year-old splash in Lake Michigan's frothy surf I was overcome with just how lucky we are and how grateful I am to these unsalted waters. They've tamed many aches and always washed hope back up on the shore.

It was this beach where Rick and I decided that we'd tell medical reality to go to hell and dove in headfirst to finally become parents. This is also where we weathered the storms that arose along that journey, always keeping an eagle eye focused on the horizon and the final goal of holding the hand of our very own child. I'll never forget the first time we brought Connor to this beach...the wind on his face made him laugh. It was so healing.

We experienced a blur of loss later that year when my father and brother died. As spring dawned, it was this beach where we returned. It is the perfect place to scream in anger and pound the waves without harming yourself or alarming the neighbors.

We returned with our mom several times over the next couple of years. Often helping her make the seemingly impossible climb down the dune stairs to the beach to revel in the splendor of the setting sun. This view always filled even our broken hearts with the possibility that tomorrow would come and bring beauty and joy. Truly healing.

My younger sisters and I were with our mom on our annual beach getaway when we realized that she was struggling with a serious health issue. There we were in the place we turned for healing, facing a challenge that seemed surreal. We laugh now at our inept bravado as we sat on the deck of my brother's beach house, drinking coffee and mulling what was happening with mom...and one of us had the audacity to say, "God wouldn't do that to us or to her, and if anything happens to mom we're just moving to the beach and putting our heads in the sand."

Mom died in January. The beach was frozen solid and the sand had rearranged the landscape and left a jagged profile in its wake. We kept our heads up and continued with our lives.

That summer we stared at the sunsets and swore we could hear our mom's voice marveling at the beauty. The waves had returned the beach to a sugar soft runway for our children's games. It was a place of healing yet again.

Now, when I swim in those waters and toss a ball on that beach with my sweet little boy, I am overcome by what a sacred place it is for us. It may be littered with tears and broken hearts, but it is certainly also shored up with moments of pure joy and the absolute confidence that life may ebb and flow, but it leaves a lasting memory in its wake.

Soon, our healing place will play host to one of those moments of hope and happiness. Later this month, surrounded by a small group of supporters, my baby sister and her love will marry on our beach and join their families in a lifetime of shared emotion.

They will stand on that beach and absorb the power of all that beauty and healing and transform it into a vow to each other and their children. We will stand united on that beach and allow ourselves to be transfixed by the glory of the setting sun and its promise of another tomorrow...for the bride and groom...and for everyone who has ever needed healing. For everyone who has ever turned to this place where God himself painted the sky and suffused the waters with such glory and peace.

Addendum (9/26/2011): They did it! Marcia and Dave were married on our beach Saturday, September 24, 2011. What a happy, spectacular event for them. We all felt honored to be invited to witness their joyful ceremony. And, really, nothing can convey all of that better than a couple of snapshots (credit to my sister Colleen Fitzgerald for the photos).

Taking Back "Me Time"

There is a reason that I'm 15 pounds overweight. Same reason that I always get scolded at the dentist's office for not flossing enough. Same reason that I typically go through several hanging baskets each summer instead of keeping one alive throughout. Same reason that I use a jar of spaghetti sauce instead of making it from scratch.

Apparently I'm otherwise occupied during those precious 15 or 30 minutes that I should be dedicating to one of dozens of activities that are super simple if I just carve out the time for them.

Honestly, I'm going to freak out if I read one more helpful article about how it takes only 15 minutes a day to have great abs or how I can have better looking skin by investing only 10 minutes a day in a 3-step process that will restore my youthful, dewy looking complexion.

Every woman's publication editor on Earth is focused on telling me how to spend every single moment of my day so that I can carve out some "me time." After all, if I followed their timetable I too would be able to swish a toilet while brushing my teeth and giving myself a pedicure, all before spending quality time with my family over a wholesome breakfast that I selected at the farmer's market the day before. My son would probably have time to practice long division during breakfast while my husband and I bantered about all the news feeds we've just scanned on our mobile phones (can I hook that up in the shower?). 

You think I jest. And, yet, I mean it. STOP sucking my life away 15 minutes at a time! I don't want to be told how to be more efficient any more. Every single time saving tip I read just makes me feel terrible about my life. If the story or conversation starts with, "Gosh, if you just spent 15 minutes a day doing ...." be prepared for me to self-combust.

Whew. Thanks for letting me unload that pistol. This probably saved, Cathy, my dental hygienist from having to live through a major hissy fit at my next appointment. And, since I've now cleared the schedule from all those self-help requirements...I'm going to sit down on my porch and enjoy a glass of my favorite wine. I call that "me time" and I've earned all 15 minutes of it!

I Just Want a Pan That's Still Round!

My pans are warped. Sure, I've had them for about 15 years. But, they are pans for goodness sake! They are made out of a fantastic steel and about 10 other metal derivatives, according to the sales pitch I received when I bought them. How do they warp?

I remember washing the pots and pans at my parent's house as a child. They were so bright and shiny with their copper bottoms...nothing fancy or ultra or improved about them. I'm sure they were the basic model at the time that my mom and dad married, more than 55 years ago, since they were a wedding gift.

My mom was famous for burning the vegetables at dinnertime. So, these pans were sure to have a few scars from that abuse. But, they sure weren't warped. The lids fit. And, they were still in my mom's kitchen several years ago when we emptied her house after her death. I wonder where they are today...

My fantastic arsenal of cookware was the finest my money could buy at the time. I remember how proud I was of their heavy duty weight and clear, shatterproof lids. I bought all the requisite accessories -- spoons, spatulas, a giant fork, and even a coated whisk -- to prevent any ruptures in their fine, non-stick, Teflon skin.

And yet they warped!

The manufacturer said that they could be washed safely in the dishwasher. Sometimes I took them up on this luxury. Other times I washed them by hand.

I asked a manufacturer's representative about this anomaly. It was suggested that I shouldn't have placed them in the dishwasher. And, after all, they are almost 20 years old! Luckily they have a new series of pots and pans to offer me that are even more improved and fantastic than those I owned!

It's not just these darn pans, which my family will continue using until they literally fall apart. It seems to be a trend in manufacturing today. Shiny wins!

I enjoy sparkly new as much as the next person. But, honestly, I'm getting a little perturbed by the underlying theme that I'll be too distracted to notice that manufacturers are crafting and selling crap at premium prices. I don't shop at a dollar store, and I expect my purchases to reflect that.

Will it help if I start packaging up all the "stuff" that I've purchased that fails to live up to even its miniscule warranty? I'll send it back to the goofball product managers who built their projections for merit increases on immediate sales and not long-term brand commitment and satisfaction.

Is there a single consumer products brand out there that cares about what they make beyond squeezing it into the smallest possible packaging to maximize shelf-space? If yes, please point them out to me. I'm waiting...with my warped pans in hand!