Cigars and Phone Calls

The other day I was trying to explain to Connor why the smell of cigars always makes me smile. He couldn't understand it. He's been a rapt student of the "Smoking is Dangerous" school of thought (I'm not complaining about that, to be clear...) and thinks that cigars smell a bit like poop. For me, the stuffy and somewhat acrid smell of a cigar, with its lingering aroma that is equal parts pungent and earthy, is a clear reminder of my Dad. Not that my Dad could be described in that way...of course!

John Joseph Fitzgerald Sr. loved his stogies. They were as much a part of his description as his black curly hair or his teasing sense of humor. One of my nieces recently commented that when she thinks of Grandpa Fitz she pictures him with a cigar in hand, that was just who he was.

Dad (far left) holding his ever present cigar in 1956 with his three siblings and father. L-R back John, Donald, Edward; front Michael and Mary Fitzgerald Reed

The cigar smoking man was the Brother, Dad and Grandpa we knew at home. That was his relaxed and carefree self. Sure, he and I had several snotty rows about the stinky habit in my outspoken teens when I hated smelling like his ashtray at school. But, today I can better appreciate his need for some sort of respite and relaxation, even though it left a bitter after taste for his darling children!

As intimately as I connect the memory of my Father with his cigars, those who worked with him over the years rarely glimpsed that man. Even in the era when people smoked in their offices, my Dad never did. He never lit up in restaurants or bars. Somehow that would ruin the nuance of his stealth mode of relaxation -- and trust me, as a man raising nine independent-minded children, he needed every ounce of carefully crafted moments of relaxation!

Dad's favorite place to relax and escape reality, his little green cottage in Mecosta County!

Now, the man that my Father's coworkers and staff saw each day was a bit of a rainmaker when it came to pulling people in to support his mission. I remember his long-time secretary commenting at my Dad's retirement that every day he would arrive at work early and pick up the phone...calling any number of people and leaving messages about what he needed. Then it began, the litany of return calls pouring in for hours after. Dad wielded his sense of humor and supportive nature like a fishing net, casting wide with a skill honed over many years and reeling in with just the right mixture of patience and urgency. People responded when he called.

Every time I get a waft of cigar smoke (a rarity to be sure these days) or reach out into the world of my connections and make an appeal for anything...a charity, a work project, a networking opportunity, anything...I think of him and I smile. Dad, you are missed. Unlike the slowly dissipating scent of your beloved cigars, the lessons you taught are firmly rooted and live on today in your children and grandchildren.

While I have no desire to smoke a stogie in your honor (trust me, my older brothers and husband handle that task with pleasure often enough!), I promise to network with your passion and good nature. Just the way you modeled for me. This I will pass on to my son and assure that he knows who my mentor was.

PS -- In honor of the upcoming annual celebration of your Irish heritage, Slainte, Dad! I can picture you now with a pint and a cigar and smile on your face. But, not a stitch of green apparel to be seen. As you often said, "I've got Irish blood, who cares what color clothes I wear?" Perfect Irish logic, if I've ever heard it!

What Do You Remember About 9/11?

Tomorrow is the anniversary of a bitter moment in American history. September 11. My son was asked by his teacher to interview me about what I remember from the day and then he and his classmates will discuss. Seems like a good way for the fourth grade set to approach such a traumatic happening.

This assignment caused me to dig out my mom's binder of emails from that time period and read through the messages shared within my family circle. So many nuances of the tragedy had been tucked away, wrapped in the tissue paper of a busy mind and stuffed in the back of my memory for safe keeping.

I had been in New York and New Jersey for a work conference prior to that fateful day. In fact, two days before I had floated on the Hudson River with a stunning view of the autumn moon juxtaposed near the Twin Towers. It was so peaceful and gorgeous. Everyone in my group commented on the scene. Too bad we weren't all armed with cell phone cameras then.

My early afternoon flight home on September 10, 2001 was marred by several unusual and chaotic experiences at the Newark International Airport. First a delay, then all flights were held because of a combination of weather and a rumored fire somewhere outside of the terminals. Eventually my flight was cancelled. While I stood in line to be rerouted on another flight, I called the airline customer service line from my trusty (and giant!) flip phone. I was rewarded with a new flight home and hours to kill before boarding. Others from my original flight were sent to hotels for the night and rerouted on flights out the next morning (I've often wondered how many of them were able to leave on early morning flights before all air travel shut down...and how many were trapped there in the heart of so much tragedy).

As I poured over the emails in my mom's old binder, I was reminded that when my flight finally departed our captain told us that there were 65 planes on the tarmac behind us and that he really didn't know how many would get out that night -- apparently the weather was still backing up departures. The flight I was on was traveling from Newark to Detroit and then on to Seattle. This journey seemed strangely ominous the next morning when one of the four planes came from Newark on a long distance flight.

Because of the series of events and delays, I took the next day off work. I didn't get home till nearly 3 am and I needed my beauty sleep! So, I was home when Rick heard on the radio that the first plane -- although no one knew that it was a plane initially -- hit one of the World Trade Center Towers. He woke me up and we turned on the television and watched in horror as the second plane hit and then the third plane hit the Pentagon and the fourth plane crashed in Pennsylvania.

As rumors flew on live television, I dashed for the phone to call my mom. She knew where I'd been, but wouldn't know that I was safely home.

Reaching out to those you love and comforting and reassuring them is a solid story line through the family email messages that my mom dutifully printed and saved in her binders. We were all checking in with each other. Sharing our experiences...confirming that we were safe..expressing our love. I imagine that it wasn't just my family who did that at the time. I like to think that in the face of unexpected horror, we all found a way to get back to the basics and focus on those we loved.

At the heart of it all, we prayed. We cried. We connected with loved ones near and far. We remember what was important to us. We loved. And, we got on with the business of being citizens of an incredible and proud country. God Bless Us All. God Bless America.

The Short Goodbye

When I close my eyes I can see it perfectly. The sun shooting diamond-bright sparkles off the water. The lake softly swaying like a teenage girl at prom. My friend Michelle's boat held captive in that wake moving of its own accord as we babbled away the afternoon as only a group of people in their early 20s can...mindlessly...confidently. It was in the midst of this misty memory that I first met Joe Faber. He screamed into the middle of my daydream at full throttle. Twisting his body at just the right moment and sending a spray of lake water toward our bikini clad gaggle of girls on the boat.

Joe pulled up that day on his tricked-out jet ski of the era...not the contemporary version that invites middle aged moms like me to hop on and ride...the original...requiring balance and gusto to stay standing while rocketing over waves. I knew right away that we'd become fast friends. Not because he drove like a bat out of hell, but because once he'd tethered his jet ski to the back of the boat he hopped aboard carrying a six pack of beer that he'd procured across the lake at the only liquor store open on Sunday in our region. That was Joe...leave nothing to chance, make a plan and carry it out, and do it while moving forward as fast as possible with a grin on his face.

Eventually even Joe moved to the seated version of personal watercraft, but still insisted on catching air!

This week Joe's ride came to an end. Far too soon. Far too abruptly. My friend died after committing himself fully to the task of winning the most important race of his life -- the battle with cancer.

Today I'm left with a pile of photos and a mind filled with memories...from goofy to tear-filled to tender. We were friends. We were polar opposites. We shared a majority of our lives with common friends, interwoven stories, and a deep respect for the uniqueness that made us each who we are.

It was over one of those summers in the early 90's, filled with glory days and endless nights, that Joe finally cranked up the nerve to put his long-suffering heart on the line and win the girl. He and my dear friend and roommate, Lynn, made a perfect pair. Neither ever thought they were going fast enough, whether on one of those god forsaken jet skis, a boat, a plane, a motorcycle, or just in life. While that same jet ski that Joe seemed to master effortlessly was dragging me around the shallows of Lake Michigan showing the world the reality that I couldn't maneuver the throttle AND hop up and balance, Lynn was learning to make a hard turn and shoot a rooster tail of water all over me. I was destined to sit on the shore and watch as my two friends zoomed off into the sunset edging each other on and complimenting one another perfectly. It was a thing of beauty.

Joe never lost that glimmer in his eye when he looked at Lynn. It was as if he was always surprised that this incredible woman really belonged to him. That wonder and passion served him well over the years as their marriage hit the bumps and ruts along the road of life at mach speed. Together they made a family with Kyle and Megan...and several dogs along the way who were always treated as true members of their brood.

When Kyle was born, he fit into their lives with the same need for speed. To this day I don't think he knows what it's like to coast. In a few years he'll be the same age his daddy was when I met him...I don't doubt that he'll have a similar swagger. He will find his way and become his own man because he had a great model for his first 15 years...I don't expect him to be a replica of Joe but I imagine I'll always see a bit of his dad in that killer smile as he rockets off into whatever his future holds.

I don't think anything could have prepared Joe for the knee knocking joy coupled with gut twisting fear of raising a daughter. He and Megan were inseparable, especially during her first few years of life. Joe was home with her while Lynn worked a full time job. Picture Joe with his legendary Jeep Wrangler and his precious daughter, him teaching her how to find her way around the engine with a socket wrench and a smile.  Today she effortlessly transitions between motor sports and her dad's garage and the glamour-filled  world of your average 6th grade girl. A rare gem in a world filled with faux personalities, Megan is destined to break all the rules society has yoked on women and do it with audacity and style. She is such a magical blend of her daddy and mom.

Joe loved the speed and peace of flying his own plane...especially with his beloved co-pilot Lynn.

It was during this time at home with Megan that Joe conceived of his dream job and started the process of making that dream a reality. How many of us have found a way to transfer our passion into a job that we love? Joe founded Midwest Motorsports because he knew that there were other people out there who wanted to push the throttle farther...and he wanted to help them make their dreams come true.

The snapshot of a life well-lived is never really enough for those left behind. The glimmer of passion that you capture in a moments time can't do justice to the complexity of a life that was not perfect, but perfectly lived for that one man.

Joe was a quiet man who forged his ideas carefully and then defended them with a stubbornness that could surprise me every time. He was raised with a bible in his hands and could quote the scripture without a second thought, making his journey toward Catholicism one of the most well thought out I've ever witnessed. He challenged every aspect and turned it inside out before acknowledging or accepting.

After his first jump out of a perfectly good airplane...following Lynn's lead!

Today begins a new journey for Joe's family. One through uncharted waters. I firmly believe they will remain buoyed by his smile and their memories. I too will cling to the frayed edges of these memories that serve to tell the story of a man who was the mechanic of his own journey. He lived his life true to his word. Our goodbye was cut short, but our friendship will span the divide. Thank you, Joe, for sharing your ride with me.

RIP, friend.

Family First Communion Photo Anthology

Receiving First Holy Communion is a Catholic right of passage. It's also a Sacrament, of course!

As my son travels this journey (he received his First Holy Communion yesterday, May 6!) I'm reminded of the fact that this was an incredibly important event for each of my siblings and me. It was as if we'd finally reached the age when we could be trusted at the adult table at Church. No more kiddie blessings passed out to us when we marched up to the altar with our parents at mass. No sir, we were BIG TIME!

Connor has reminded me of how this Sacrament required the entire family to dress up and celebrate with whomever was receiving Communion for the first time. In my family it also meant we could have dinner out!

I remember our whole troupe hitting White's Chicken Little on West Avenue in Jackson after my First Holy Communion. I felt so lucky to be out on the town in my swingy, white dress and shiny white shoes. It was as if the whole world knew that I was doing something special. Could they tell just by looking at me that I just drank wine from the chalice? In my case, probably, I'm certain to have spilled it on that white outfit...I wasn't the most tidy little angel! And, if the wine stain on my frock wasn't enough, let's be honest, even in 1975, a little girl wearing all white with a veil on her head at Chicken Little with her eight siblings was a dead giveaway that SOMETHING SPECIAL was going on!

I'd love to share stories from each and every First Holy Communion...but instead I'm just going to give you a short (okay, as short as possible with all of these people to include!) and sweet review of Connor's family history when it comes to this most exciting of all Sacraments (it does involve both a snack and a drink, that qualifies as excitement in my book!). Sit back and enjoy!

1963 - John Joseph Fitzgerald Jr.

1964 - Patrick Michael Fitzgerald

1965 - Marian Marie Fitzgerald

1966 - Mark Timothy Fitzgerald

1967 - Gregory Charles Fitzgerald (note that I'm that adorable baby being squeezed to death by my brother John!)

1971 - Steven David Fitzgerald (First appearance of mom and dad in a Communion celebration photo, someone in the family was finally old enough to be trusted with the camera! Love the tilted kid angle of this photo!)

1975 - Maureen Anne Fitzgerald (...and we've got Kodachrome! Oldest brother John is missing in this photo; he had already joined the Marines and shipped out. We never got all nine of us in one of my mom's command photo ops at a First Holy Communion. Bummer.)

Here's a second photo from my 1975 First Communion (Hush it, family members, it's my blog! Besides, who would want to deny the world another view of the 70s era fashion sported by my parents? Yes, folks, mom's in stripes and dad's in plaid. And, I'm in a smocked, sheer fabric, fairy dress, very hippy-esque! Note that Colleen and I had just recovered from the chicken pox and my mother had cropped our bangs in order for the scabs on our faces to begin healing. Never fear, she knew enough to leave the mullet in back! Party on....).

1975 - Richard Joseph Penn (I had to include Rick too. Connor loves this photo of his dad looking so prayerful, but with a well used basketball hoop within sight! Classic Rick...)

1978 - Colleen Mary Fitzgerald (...and now we have instant photography, thanks to Polaroid! Oh, and I couldn't resist posting both of these photos. First ever cutesy pose in our family album, Colleen with her little prayer book, and then the infamous family pose.)

1981 - Marcia Annette Fitzgerald (In a horrible twist of fate, we can't find the album from the First Communion year for Marcia, the youngest child, of whom there are thousands of photos. Somewhere along the line that album was borrowed out for some reason and hasn't found its way back to my brother's basement where the rest of the family photos are currently stored. Just another reminder of how much we all miss our mom!) We did consider using a photo of either Colleen (Marcia wore the same dress and veil) or Reagan (mother and daughter look a lot like each other, if we blurred it a bit ala the early 80s, you wouldn't know!). Instead, we will just all bow our heads in silence and absorb some of Marcia's sadness...you know how the youngest child in a family of nine can be...she was clearly robbed by all of her older siblings of this one moment of glory! Ha!

TODAY - Connor John and Reagan Jacqueline (first cousins) shared the spotlight and many giggles when we had these photos taken by our friends from Flourish Photography at our Church a few weeks before their actual First Holy Communion. What a change from our heritage of hastily snapped photos complete with awkward looks and closed eyes, but what a relief for us that we didn't have to worry about pretty photos at the Church after the service!

Congratulations to my little First Communicant (and to his cousin too!) taking a big step in what I hope is a lifelong Faith journey. Bless you!

There Goes Another One-One!

As we jump headfirst into a fresh, spanking new year, I thought it would be fun to look back at 2011. Every moment of every day was certainly not picture perfect, but gosh darn it -- we made the best of it all!

Enjoy the ride...there is nothing profound here, it won't change your life, but sometimes its fun to sneak a peak into someone else's world for a minute!

January -- Connor was lucky to be a part of a fantastic 1st grade class at Holy Spirit School. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to photograph the class on several occasions and interview the students to write a book about how special and unique they all are. The book was auctioned off to help raise money for the school. It was seriously fun!

February -- Blizzards are incredible...when you are 7!

February -- And, sometimes blizzards result in gorgeous weather for the snow days that follow! Connor and our neighbor, Jenna, catch air while flying down the Doyle Family luge run in their backyard (across the street from our house). Now that's a thrilling way to spend your snow day!

March -- It was fun to cheer our nephew, Nate (12), and his Lumen Christi Titan hockey team on at the state quarter-finals game; but sad to watch him step off the ice for the last time as a Titan after their loss.

March -- We enjoyed watching Disney on Ice at the Van Andel Arena from a suite, front and center for all the action...complete with glow sticks!

March -- Brava to niece, Sarah, for her acting debut with Sparta Middle School!

April -- Spring Break in Longboat Key, FL...ahhhhhhh, nothing but sunshine, surf, and shells!

April -- My favorite photo of the year! The Gulf of Mexico was gorgeous for our Spring Break and we all enjoyed every second we spent basking in it. Connor loved riding the waves on his boogie board. Pure Joy!

April -- A late Easter this year provided gorgeous weather...we were all contemplating golf after brunch! Here is Connor with his cousins, Rachel, Sarah, and Reagan.

May -- Connor played Coach Pitch Little League this year with his dad as a coach. It was such fun to watch his skills develop...and so exciting to see a solid hit or catch.

May -- We cheered for nephew, Nate, as he graduated from Lumen Christi High School...my how time flies!

June -- We gathered in Grand Rapids for the Fitzgerald Family Golf Outing this year and celebrated my brother Mark's first victory as the Cup Winner! Apparently when he had surgery earlier in the year on his spine he scored some kind of bionic golf implant because he beat the competition with room to spare!

July -- Since we had those SWEET red, white, and blue tee shirts from the Family Golf Outing, why not wear them while celebrating Independence Day on the beach with fireworks and family?! Made sense to us! We were treated to a spectacular sunset over Lake Michigan, lovely fireworks over the water from the City of Pentwater, and an up-close, incredible firework display compliments of our neighbors on the beach! Not to mention our own sparklers! Whoopee!

July -- We kicked off our traditional summer vacation week (just the three youngest Fitzgerald's and our three kids, we've done this since the year they were all born!) at Memaw's house by tubing on Lake Pentwater. Connor and Reagan had a blast, and so did their cousin Ryleigh!

August -- Our neighbor's had to postpone their backyard wiffle ball tournament due to bad weather, but that didn't take away from the fun when game day arrived! Connor was once again the honorary bat boy for The Westwinde 5 -- and their team went on to win!

August -- A whirlwind trip to Chicago took us to Wrigley Field for Connor's first Cubs game! The monsoon-like downpour that drenched Connor and Mo also left us with a case of the giggles as we dashed through downtown streets that were flooded, while Rick waited it out at the restaurant!

August -- Connor and I even dragged Rick away from work for a few days at the beach splashing in those gorgeous Lake Michigan waves...and dinner with Memaw and Papa at the Pentwater Yacht Club. Excellent vacation that went by way too fast!

August -- We welcomed nephew, Kyle, home from his tour of duty in Afghanistan with the Army National Guard when his in-laws hosted a party at their farm in Reed City. Three of his Fitzgerald aunts are pictured here with Kyle...we embarrassed him with lots of smooches!

August -- Suddenly my sweet baby boy is a 2nd grader! Welcome back to school, buddy!

September -- We all cheered as my sister, Marcia, and Dave made it official and joined their families as one on the beach in a touching ceremony. Congratulations!

September -- ArtPrize! Connor and I toured the art twice this year...here he is seconds before this Top Ten contender became attached to his fleece jacket...in front of the artist. We had a tense moment as I instructed him to walk straight forward...and keep on walking right on out of the GR Public Museum! When we returned a few days later with his cousin we noted that there was a barrier surrounding the piece to keep people from recreating that drama! :-)

 September -- Fall soccer...

September -- ...and football. Connor with friends Joey and Jack on the sidelines at West Catholic during a flag football game.

October -- We celebrated Connor's birthday a week late with a corn maze and hay ride celebration...and chocolate cupcakes!

October -- We had an Angry Bird in the house for Halloween this year!

November -- Connor and Reagan invited their cousin, Mark, (he is an Army Veteran who served a tour of duty in Iraq and one in Afghanistan) to a special ceremony at their school on Veteran's Day. Love that those red, white, and blue shirts made another appearance! Classic!

December -- This conversation between Connor and Santa looks very serious! I'm happy to report that he did make an appearance at our house this year after all...Connor must have done some fast talking when they visited at his school pancake breakfast fundraiser!

There you go, its been one heck of a year! Thanks for sharing in it and for continuing to check in on my blog. Every writer needs readers...and I truly appreciate you!

A Personal Peek at the Year in Review

Nothing prolific to spout...no karmic revelation to report...just a simple look back at a year full of joy and challenges. Keep on swimming, people.

Here are my highlights in photos:


March -- Aunt Elaine and Uncle Ron celebrated 50 years of marriage, a great excuse for my mother's siblings to pose for my camera. Nice to see everyone together sharing in a joyous celebration!

 
 

April -- Spring Break trip to Las Vegas for the Penn Family with a side trip to the Grand Canyon. We were a bit skeptical about Vegas for a family trip, but had a blast and will definitely be back!



April -- Connor's first Little League game of the season with his dad as coach. So much fun to watch!



April -- A weekend with my girls in Pentwater was a wonderful way to reconnect and reminisce. Did Michele and I really meet in 5th grade and break up in 7th, yet somehow we've shared all of the most important moments of our lives together? Will Lynn and I ever experience another moment like our first road trip to Ann Arbor (cue music from St. Elmo's Fire) when the world seemed to stop as we pulled into town? Will Laura and I ever get our fantasy wish of leaving the day-to-day behind and becoming full-time country club wives (I can hear the laughter ringing all around me!)? Was it luck or destiny that when I broke my foot in college, I had a sorority sister like Jen willing to carry me on her back during goofy rush events (leave no sister behind!)?

May -- Connor's class picnic...what a great bunch of kids he shared Kindergarten with at Holy Spirit.

June -- Here I am with friend, Dorothy Ramos, toasting the third annual Ladies Tee Party Charity Golf Scramble to benefit the Sleeping Angels Endowment (established by my friends Katherine and Mike Schoenborn). I love organizing this incredible golf outing every year and 2010 was no exception! We raised an additional $14,000 for the Endowment and treated 135 lady golfers to a fantastic day on the links. See you this year on Friday, June 17, 2011!

June -- Nephew Kyle was called up to report to Afghanistan with the National Guard, so he and Mandy moved their wedding up by four months. It may not have been the wedding she was planning, but I sure hope it was still the wedding of her dreams! Congratulations to Kyle and Mandy!

June -- Our annual Fitzgerald Family Golf Outing always results in lots of good natured taunting, and one team earns the right to be called "Scramble Champs" for another year. This year it was Rick, Colleen, Neal, and Ryleigh -- a formidable squad to be sure!

July -- Sparklers on the beach while watching the fireworks? Heck yeah!

July -- Summertime in Michigan on the Lake...perfect! We were fortunate to share many wonderful sun-filled days at our favorite place just south of Pentwater. What a dream for a 6-year-old boy!

August -- Our wonderful neighbors transformed their backyard into a field of dreams for local kids and hosted a Wiffleball Tournament. Connor was lucky enough to be asked to join some of the boys for the day as their bat boy (the tournie is set for kids ages 8-11, so he couldn't play). What a ridiculously fun day he had -- and his team took home the trophy to boot! Incredible memories for him...and every adult who had the joy of witnessing this.

August -- Gulp! My baby is a First Grader...how did that happen?

September -- Sadly, we said goodbye to Rick's dad, Richard D. Cook. He was a gruff man who loved deeply and was infinitely proud of his children...all of them. This photo was taken a few years ago, but it is still one of my favorites of Dick with his son and grandson.

September -- Just one more memory of Dick Cook, with his pipe on his favorite stretch of beach along the Gulf in Florida. This is how I like to remember him, happy and relaxed without a worry in the world. Rest in Peace.

September -- What a lovely wedding for niece Emily and her husband Todd! Congratulations! Big love and smiles were all around...

September -- ...especially from their littlest wedding attendants, who had a blast all day...and somehow behaved themselves through the ceremony at the waterfall. Whew!

September -- Connor's flag football team was sooooo excited to play under the Friday Night Lights during halftime of a 2010 state champion West Catholic High School game.

October -- Ohhhh, ArtPrize!

October -- The family that plays dress-up together stays together...or at least has a blast on Halloween! Nephew Mark II joined us to spook the neighborhood kids and pass out shots to the adults. Bahhhaaahhhaa!

December -- Nothing says Merry Christmas like a 9 foot tree with a star on top!

 December -- We rang in the New Year at the wedding of my cousin, Tricia, to her love Tandem. We'd just said goodbye to Tricia's father, Charles Clark Sr., at the end of October. So, this was the perfect way to start 2011 fresh...and filled with joy! Congratulations to the newlyweds. And, Rest in Peace Uncle Chuck.

Thanks for indulging me...and for reading my blog. Feel free to follow and post comments. Every writer needs their readers!

Cheers to 2011!